Did you know how you would move me? well, I don't really think so

It's amazing to me to step outside of myself now and see what a difference there is between living for God and living for yourself. Selfishness is a choice and it's always a struggle for me. But it's freeing to give yourself up completely to someone who won't ever disappoint or let you down, who won't ever stop loving you, who offers promises of hope and strength, who is with you at all times and knows you deeper than any human could possibly dig, and who made you and created you bearing their beautiful and perfect image. not bad, I guess.

I've re-entered a very dangerous world this week. It's dangerous for so many reasons. You could say it's dangerous because of its many temptations and lusts, or because of its potential abuse of freedom, its pressures and stresses, its filthiness. Because of its invincible attitude, its reckless behavior, its ever-increasing responsibility looming overhead, its financial burden, its false teachings, its endless escapes from reality, and its harsh reality.

But I think Jesus Christ is on this campus, and I think He's at work in every inch of it.

I'm so excited for Salt this year. I'm so excited to cook dinner at my sis's apartment this Sunday night.

I'm so not excited for training tomorrow (Friday) night and Saturday morning. I'm so scared to be a tutor to kindergarten-aged kids, or 3rd graders, or 5th graders- all looking at me and waiting to see how I act and what I say. I don't know how I'm going to balance my time, energy, and resources this semester. I'm being challenged already to fail like I did last semester, and I'm scared to fail again, because I know I'm better than that. I'm worried my illness will kick-start a fall, because it always does it seems. Every phone call, text or e-mail from my mom pleads with me to be taking care of myself, to do all that I can to stay healthy. and I am, but it's when things get out of my control that cause so many problems. I just trust that whatever happens, I can have enough strength to rise above it. I feel so much pressure, mostly from my own standards, to score high and impress and succeed and achieve.

All of these things fell so heavily on my heart last night, that tears just started pouring down my face and I sat face-down at my desk just feeling like a train wreck waiting to happen. Aubrey reminded me to listen to my own advice that I gave her just the other day, and to read the verses I gave her as well, which are encouraging and comforting. Nick came over and held me til I stopped crying, looked me in the eyes and told me I can do anything, and that he believes in me and why don't I? Eventually, everything started to not feel so heavy, and it got better from there. All I can do is take everything one by one, step by step down the road. And when I need a rest, I know I can cast my cares upon the Lord and renew my strength for a new day.

My English 305 class (Creative Non-Fiction Writing) is incredible already.
My Pol. S. 319 class (Law & Politics) is kicking my butt already.
aaaaaaand The End.
<3