disconnected

it hurts to see you standing there
holding on to someone other than me
i thought we were together
the closest, until the end
it hurts to feel your words
cut up my face, my hands
when all i've done is reach out
when i've done all i can
it hurts to look at you now
so unreceptive, so cold
i know you've got a lot going on
but so do i, so do i.

i've been where you are
i've done what you're doing
what will break this barrier
that's keeping you from me

it hurts to stand here without you
will you please come back
can we get through this
can we make it out alive

remember what friendship is
remember what love means
remember we both fall sometimes
remember that together we are the best

it hurts to feel shut out
i yearn for reconciliation
can you put aside the errors
and find love in this, for us?

remember.
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I know some may say I'm being too hard on myself, but this is how I feel right now. I am the biggest disappointment. I cause strife and pain for the people I love the most. I constantly fail to meet your expectations. I fail to be the friend I should be. I make stupid mistakes that add up and look like one big ink blot that has bled over every centimeter of white on the page. I say too much, I don't say enough, I can't make enough time for you, but I make too much time for someone else. I do one thing right, but you have a problem with my happiness because it changed things and now we have to deal with the change. Things get difficult, and it ends up being Emily's fault and Emily's issue and Emily's mission to fix and overcome. The blame falls on me. You've disconnected yourself from me, but apparently it's my job to bridge the gap you've failed to make. It's all my fault things are falling apart. It always is. That's how I feel. Now it's time to write about my "voice" in an English paper and read my Drug Education book before falling asleep, if I can even do so with such a heavy heart. the end.