freedom.

Awesome. The last few days I've been trying to gain weight to be at a more healthy weight, and I just discovered that I've LOST 3 more pounds. You've got to be kidding me. This is ridiculous. I'm seriously considering going to a nutritionist or dietician but not to lose weight, to gain weight and be healthy. I can't risk being unhealthy this semester. If I don't have a successful semester, I can't see myself continuing at ISU. I don't know. This is so frustrating.

I miss Nick and it sucks not being able to see or talk to him. The past 8 days, I've dealt and been alright, but these next 7 days I just hope I can keep it together. Ugh.

Last week I envisioned myself standing with a big sign over my head saying "Accepted"... now for this week I am supposed to envision myself with the sign reading "Trust". Trust is hard. Trusting God, trusting myself, and trusting others... it's really hard.

Saturday night I was in Ames, and I went to the Saturday evening church service at Cornerstone with my sister and Jamie. The message basically saved my life. It was seriously as if Tom Nesbitt was speaking directly to me, with words straight from God. The path to bondage starts with listening to lies, dwelling on lies, believing in lies, and then acting on lies. The path to freedom is listening to TRUTH, dwelling on TRUTH, believing in TRUTH, and acting on TRUTH. I was reminded of the spiritual war that goes on every day. The devil attacks the mind first by giving you a thought. In Ephesians, we are told to take our thoughts captive and run them to JESUS. It also lists all the strongholds in our lives, like guilt, stubbornness, and bitternness, that fight against us every day in that spiritual war.

I'm not ready to start the semester just yet.... I need a little more time. But time is running out. :(