grades are irritating

sometimes.... i hate grades. i hate that they make me feel so bad if they aren't the grade that i thought i should get, or the grade i hoped for. maybe i should stop "hoping" when it comes to grades. grades are grades, they're numbers and letters that tell what your testing performance is in a certain subject area. usually i'm all for grades, like, i would hate not having grades at all in school. but, i don't think school should be ALL about grades and what your GPA is, i don't think that at all. i think it's more about the learning and the experiencing that actually matters, to put it simply, but reality is you have to take exams and quizzes, and therefore you have to deal with grades. for me, grades make me want to do better in school because i have a competitive spirit that drives me to want to "outplay" my opponents (everyone else in the class). this makes school very appealing to me, and it's why i like school. but the main reason i like school is because of the experiences i get from it, and because i learn new things. my learning is hindered when i'm being taught something that i've already learned... even if it's in a new or different approach to it, i just get bored. my poli sci 215 class is a perfect example of that. i can't stand it, even though i freaking LOVE the subject- american government. it's so hard for me to make myself get up and go to that class, because i can basically teach the book to myself and get a better grade on the exam than i do trying to learn from the class and the professor teaching me the book and such. i have proof of that too. ugh, it's just irritating. anyway, the whole point of me writing right now is to rant about how i hate grades sometimes.

i hate getting on webCT and checking my grades for an exam i just took, just to come to find that i didn't do as well as i thought i did. then i go through the motions-- i think to myself, wait... but i really thought i understood the material, this grade does not reflect my actual performance in this subject.... i think, well i've never been a very "good" test-taker... i get all nervous and anxious and can't think very clearly. blah blah blah. same thing every time.

all in all, grades just suck sometimes. like, the fact that they exist. and the fact that i really do take them to heart sometimes.