yeah, you know that I adore you

I have not been productive, motivated, or responsible this week. Today was probably a low point. But, I can honestly say it's going uphill from here... and I could not have gotten to this realization without the help from my friends I got today. I don't know what I would've done without them. So this is basically in dedication to the ones who got me through today so that I can start being motivated, productive, and responsible...

Zach, you talked to me on the phone for a half an hour this afternoon, and mostly you just listened to me vent and explain and release. That took a lot of patience and a lot of kindness. I was being impossible and negative, but you stayed on the phone long enough for me to come to the decision that I did. You pushed me to get outside and take a run, even if it was just for 15 minutes, and that changed my entire outlook. You didn't really even push me, you just were there for me and that made me want to push myself. I can't really explain it. You didn't give me any magic words, any profound advice, but you gave me support I guess. And that was enough. It made me want to DO something... which has been an amazing struggle for me for weeks. It made me want to do something that I liked, that would make me happy, something that was good for my body.

So after I jogged, I went to dinner with Kayla, Zach, JR, and Mike. After dinner, I checked my friend Andrew's english paper while I sat in Steve's room, and watched the movie Behind Enemy Lines while he rested. Andrew even gave me a mountain dew for checking his paper. Then Steve and I played Guitar Hero II for a while. At 10, I walked over to Birch for Snack Time. AKA.......FAT TIME!!! haha. Snack Time consisted of Kayla, Josh, Josh's roommate Steve, JR, Mike, Zach, Zach and Mike's friend Liz, and myself hanging out in Zach & Mike's room and eating lots and lots of food... triscuits, oreos, brownies that JR's grandma made, and LOTS of chocolate. For two and a half hours, I was with my friends, and those two and a half hours were enough to change something inside of me. When I wake up tomorrow, things are going to be different. For the better. I promise.

I end this with lyrics from one of my favorite bands in the whole world....The Rocket Summer!

Cause I'm doing everything for you
Cause I love to be near you
Something just takes me away to a place where I'm happy
Cause I'm doing everything for you
Yeah you know that I adore you
And I just can't take it anymore.
--"I'm Doing Everything (For You)"

Man, I just saw something. I'm glad that you are here.
I got to start to thinking, and seeing things so clear.
'Cus now how could i forget what she left?
What happened in November is what i needed.
And i'm sorry that it shows, but life ain't so bad you know?

And now the sky is such a sweet blue,
and you made this come true,
and my heart feels so new.
(woah-oh, woah-oh, woah, woah, woah-oh)
It's now wonderful to see beautiful views
like skies that are so blue.
(woah-oh, woah-oh, woah, woah, woah-oh)

I'll never leave this you know.

I'd turn it off for this.
It looks like we got what we wished.
It snowed in Texas but you missed (first time since '86)
and i can't stop thinking how wonderful this is.
And i'm sorry i sound glad, but why always be so sad?

And now the sky is such a sweet blue,
and you made this come true,
and my heart feels so new.
(woah-oh, woah-oh, woah, woah, woah-oh)
It's now wonderful to see beautiful views
like skies that are so blue.
(woah-oh, woah-oh, woah, woah, woah-oh)

And i know that sometimes oh i might feel alone, so broke, and cold.
But now i'll show that i know
that the sky is such a sweet blue,
and you made this come true,
and my heart feels so new.
(woah-oh, woah-oh, woah, woah, woah-oh)
It's now wonderful to see beautiful views
like skies that are so blue.
(woah-oh, woah-oh, woah, woah, woah-oh)

I'll never leave this you know.
 --"Skies So Blue"