I know we never get things right, and it gets so old just saying we'll keep trying...

Well, it was a pretty eventful weekend. As my mom called it, "well that's life." Let downs, unexpected changes, personal failures, friendly conversations, instability, stupid girl moods & emotions, patient & supporting friends, chances and decisions... they all made their way into my weekend somehow, and more.

I found out several things about myself. Like, it is possible for me to be mean to Zach and really upset him. Didn't know that prior to this weekend. Zach is always the one upsetting me and having to set things right- until this weekend. I also found out that large doses of responsibility and heavy decision-making generally do not sit well with me at all... mixed with my lack of motivation, easily-overwhelmed current state of mind, and tendency to procrastinate at everything, it's a recipe for failure and disappointment. I have known for many years now the extent to which I put pressure on myself, enough to make anyone break and buckle with the weight pressing in on them at all sides. That was nothing new, but, still significant. Last Friday I was the epitomy of the unstable, stupid girl who can't control her emotions. Then, upon waking Saturday morning, it was as if someone should have been singing "she can see clearly now, the rain is gone," because all the sudden everything that was a mess the day before, was clear as day in my mind. I was thinking rationally and logically, with a confident sense of clarity. Sometimes I wish I could do that everyday- but life wouldn't be nearly as exciting without all the ups and downs, would it? And how would we ever grow?

Anyway, i don't feel good today. don't know why. i'm just nauseous and stuff. i don't like it.

i need to get better in the next 5 hours, because I have the Matt Wertz show at the M-shop to go to tonight.

I bought a bunch of movies to add to my dvd collection this weekend with a Best Buy gift card from Christmas:
1. Crash (amazing)
2. William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet (the modern version... it's sweet)
3. X-Men 3: The Last Stand (YEAH BABY!!!)
4. Just Friends (i love ryan reynolds)
5. Fight Club (classic)
6. The Notebook (what can i say... i love the love stories)
7. Big Fish (aww i just love it..)
8. She's The Man (ahahaha)

I also bought 2 books from Barnes & Noble with yet another gift card from Christmas:
1. A Year with C.S. Lewis- Daily Readings from His Classic Works (dahhh!! so good)
2. Sifting Through The Madness For The Word, The Line, The Way-- New Poems by Charles Bukowski. (thanks Lindsey!)

the end.