the impossible is possible tonight

I don't know if my recent surge of thoughts has occurred because of circumstances surrounding my life lately, or not. Regardless of the answer to that, it has happened. Something inside of me has caused me to feel really strongly about the power and influence of having someone believe in you. Especially from the people within your "inner circle", or in sociology-talk, your "primary group." I've always been one to believe in self-sufficiency and one's personal responsibility, and how important it is to develop a strong sense of both of those as you grow up and take on more responsibilities. Dictionary.com's definition of 'self-sufficient' was, "having extreme confidence in one's own resources, power, etc." Personal responsibility is regarding your own responsibility to yourself... your initiative, your obligation, or duty that you have to yourself. So I have a strong sense of those things, a strong desire to be self-sufficient in my life and to be responsible for myself, for my actions, for my words, for everything that I do. Because, after all, I am an individual and I am 18, which means I am legally old enough to live on my own and be completely on my own. But I have had that desire influenced upon me, and you can also say I learned from seeing it around me... which goes along with a psychologist by the name of Bandura, whose Social Cognitive Theory was based upon the fact that we can learn everything from observation. Anyway, though I still find these two values to be extremely valuable and important, I've been thinking a lot about something else.

Lately, if I hear someone say, "oh you won't be able to do that, no way..." in response to someone who wants to try something new, I get really upset about it. Let's call the person saying "you won't be able to do that" Person A. Person B is the person that wants to try to do something, the thing that Person A doesn't think they'll be able to do. Person A and Person B are very, very close friends, practically brother and sister. So they have a very honest relationship, no doubt about that. Person A is a realist for the most part, and in this situation is definitely thinking realistically, rationally, and logically... because in all honesty, Person B's chances of achieving their goal are slim if you think about it logically and rationally. BUT.. by Person A responding like that, how does that affect Person B? Does it make them decide not to even try at all, because, after all, Person A does know them very well and is just being honest with them when he said he doesn't think she'll be able to do the thing she wants to try. Does it make Person A feel good, though? Does it build Person A up, or down? Knowing that someone extremely close to you doesn't believe you can do something difficult and maybe near impossible (but not impossible alltogether), doesn't really affect you positively, does it? Especially if Person B is not a person of great self-esteem, that's important. Or, is Person A just saving Person B from failure? But don't people learn from failure? Isn't failure necessary to succeed later on, sometimes? Does not determination come from failure, sometimes? The point is that success CAN happen from a past failure. But if you don't even try, and you don't experience that failure, does that mean the success from reaching a desired goal was cut off before it even began?

I just think that believing in someone who is within your close group of relationships in your life is more important sometimes than shooting them down without giving them a chance to see what happens. Go ahead and be bluntly honest and upfront about the situation at hand, please, but maybe the best thing isn't looking at the huge chance of Person B failing, but looking at the fact that there's a chance they won't.

I choose to believe in people, and believe in their potential.

just stuff that's been on my mind lately.

I end this blog with lyrics from The Smashing Pumpkins:

"We'll crucify the insincere tonight
We'll make things right, we'll feel it all tonight
We'll find a way to offer up the night tonight
The indescribable moments of your life tonight.
The impossible is possible tonight
Believe in me as i believe in you..."
<3