Fearless

I leave for the Des Moines airport in just about 6 hours. Naturally, I can't sleep. I always have a hard time falling asleep the night before I fly somewhere. I think it's because of a mix of anxiety, eagerness, excitement, and maybe even a little bit of fear. Not a good combo if you ask me. But I'll deal. I might get 4 hours of sleep tonight... but I can always sleep on the plane! :-) I am very excited to get out of Iowa and to spend 6 days in the beautiful state of North Carolina. However, seeing as my days really are numbered until I leave for Iowa State and leave behind many wonderful, dear friends of mine... I will miss my friends a lot while on this trip I think. A LOT.

On a different note, last night one of my dearest friends spent the night at my house. It was a great night, we had so much fun just being goofballs and such. But when we got into bed and turned the lights off, somehow we started discussing some really deep, heavy things about our lives. It turned into a pretty intense talk on lots of things, but one thing that stuck out to me was when my friend talked about fear. Fear creeps its way into our hearts, does it not? It can consume a person. But anyway, this subject prompted me to look over one of my favorite verses ever.

"Do not tremble, do not be afraid. Did I not proclaim this and foretell it long ago? You are my witnesses. Is there any God besides me? No, there is no other Rock; I know not one." --Isaiah 44:8

I think if you really believe that, you will have no fear. Fear comes from lack of knowledge, from not knowing something, from being uncertain and unsure. Fear, you could say, comes from lack of affirmation maybe. Whatever it comes from, it's ever-present in our world. But if you truly believe that God is the ROCK, and there is no one like him, not one, that he is the only God the only Rock, and you believe that everything that happens was foretold long before you were even born... then you have no need to tremble, to have fear inside of you. I think Satan feeds on our fear. So why give him the opportunity to get a foothold on you? The next time you think of fear being present in your heart, take a breath and try to tell yourself Isaiah 44:8. DO NOT TREMBLE, DO NOT BE AFRAID. like it's clear as glass, don't give fear a chance to eat away at your soul. I wrote a poem I actually really am proud of during this past school year for my AP Studio Art class, and it's all about being fearless and why I can be that way. Maybe I'll post it in the next blog or something, because I really think it's worth sharing. I think God fills me up with so much good stuff that it then shows up in my poetry and when I write things. I don't think my poetry, or anything I write that has such value and worth, comes from me- it's gotta come from the One who created me, my Father. I really do think that. I think that God uses our gifts to reach other people and further the kingdom of God. Isn't that cool, to think about your own unique gifts being used for something heavenly, for eternal glory?

I really need to go to sleep. <3

Consider it pure joy, my brothers.

"Yet if you devote your heart to him
and stretch out your hands to him,
if you put away the sin that is in your hand
and allow no evil to dwell in your tent,
then you will lift up your face without
shame;
you will stand firm and without fear.
You will surely forget your trouble,
recalling it only as waters gone by.
Life will be brighter than noonday,
and darkness will become like morning.
You will be secure, because there is hope;
you will look about you and take your
rest in safety,
You will lie down, with no one to make
you afraid,
and many will court your favor,
But the eyes of the wicked will fail,
and escape will elude them;
their hope will become a dying gasp."--Job 11:13-20

I think Job pretty much nails it right here in this passage. And by 'it' I mean why and how I have joy in my life. Eternal joy. The why part comes from forgetting my trouble and recalling it "only as waters gone by"... as well as life being brighter and darkness becoming like morning...security because of HOPE...and also why I have eternal joy- things like peaceful rest, safety, and the best yet- NO FEAR. The how part comes from the first line of the passage- "Yet if you devote your heart to him..." and it goes on to such things as turning from sin, dwelling in no evil, being shameless, but seriously the only thing I need to hear is "devote your heart to him"- that's it for me, right there. Because everything that is encompassed in that sentence just falls in to place once you just do that part. Devotion...

de·vo·tion (d-vshn)
n.

1. Ardent, often selfless affection and dedication, as to a person or principle. See Synonyms at love.
2. Religious ardor or zeal; piety.
3. 1. An act of religious observance or prayer, especially when private. Often used in the plural.
   2. devotions Prayers or religious texts: a book of devotions.
4. The act of devoting or the state of being devoted.

Joy is not selfish, it is not what I have but who I am. Happiness is fleeting, but joy is eternal. The opposite of joy is not sorrow. It is selfishness. My youth pastor explained tonight that the opposite of joy is selfishness, not sorrow, because we rob other people the opportunity to see Christ inside of us when we do not choose to be joyful. Joy is a choice. Check this out:

"Consider it PURE JOY, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds..."--James 1:2

The perfect example in my own life of this is my story of being stricken with the painful disease called Nephroliathiasis when I was just 13 years old.

Nephrolithiasis

n : the presence of kidney stones (calculi) in the kidney.

Before this happened, I did not understand what it meant to choose joy. I didn't understand what it meant to consider it PURE JOY when I'm lying in a hospital bed wishing for my death, rather than endure any more pain. But you know, years went by and I finally understood that I could have absolutely nothing in this world- I could have no health, no family, no friends, no happiness, but as long as I had Jesus Christ... I have all that I need. I have everything. And that, my friends, is pure, eternal joy.

Love! :-)

The Beginning

I don't even know what I'm doing. Well, sort of. But... not really. I had this sudden urge to create my own little blog thing, so I guess this is the product so far. Haha, you know what's funny... I already feel cooler because I have my own blog. Lame. :-)