granny pants

So according to my friends, I am a grandma. I am G-ma Emily. They have decided this for a few reasons, some of which are that I say words like 'whipper snappers' and 'hooligans', I love soup and tea, and I guess my behavior in general sometimes.

Oh, and Lindsey has decided that I am...
a baby-eating, dog-knapping, kitty-sedating freak.. pretty much. hahahahahha.

I had so much fun at the show last night!

Pin Your Wings Down

Last night turned out to be really good! For a couple reasons...

Zach and I met at the MU around 7:45 and had a really good 2-hour chat! It made me feel super good afterwards, just having such a good talk and stuff. yayy Zach.

Steve called me at 10:30 and asked me if I wanted to go to Walmart with him... heck yes! So we drove Froby to the rec center, took Steve's friend Alex to Buchanan, and then headed to Walmart so Steve could buy Guitar Hero 2......hahahahha. We played one song at Walmart before he bought it, and basically... it only took one song, and I was completely addicted. Seriously. It's the coolest game in the world. I'm hooked. The ride to Walmart and the ride back were super enjoyable. He is sooooo cute. We were just laughing the whole time cause I don't know, I was being really goofy and so was he. I love when we're both in our goofy moods, haha. Anyway....we definitely wasted the rest of the night away playing Guitar Hero in his room with Renee, Erika, and Brek. What a good time. :-)

p.s. I am LOVING Copeland right now. I can't stop listening to 'em. It's just the perfect music for my mood lately. Looooove it!

Tonight I am (well hopefully, if I can get ahold of Zach here soon), going to Kayla & Blake Lewis' house for a show. My ATA boys are playing of course, and then 3 other apparantly pretty good bands. I was gonna go, then I thought I wasn't gonna go, but now I think I really want to go. I'll just do laundry tomorrow I suppose! (i seriously dont have ANY clean clothes....) haha.

Jeremiah was a good snowman.

Oh goodness. So, I've been pretty sick all week. Ugh. But... guess what? I woke up today, and I'm not sick anymore! My throat barely hurts at all. It's so nice... considering yesterday I basically wanted to cry every time I swallowed. I felt like I was dying! Now, I feel pretty darn great. I'm sooooo happy. I think that's the fastest I have ever gotten over a cold... ever. :-)

Yesterday (Thursday)--
I had dinner with Erin and Jamie. I ran into Steve on our way out of the udcc, and then Erin & Jamie proceeded to slap me with newspapers and basically molest me for like five minutes. They were upset because I had not let them in on a secret, haha. but whatever. It was pretty hilarious running around the udcc getting slapped with newspapers by Erin and Jamie... but you probably had to be there to really appreciate the humor. They left to go to the 7:00 Salt, and I headed back to my room. A little later, Steve came up and educated me on who Steve Nash is and then we went down to Livingston and hung out with Brek and the other guys. Bryce played Steve's sega genesis (the best game ever-- the lion king!), and then Steve and I ran into Renee- so the three of us walked over to the MU for 9:00 Salt. The first person I saw as I walked into the main entrance.... was Austin Herman!!!!!!!!! I ran over to him and gave him a gigantic hug. I hadn't seen him in quite some time. He told me he decided to come to Ames for the evening and go to Salt so he could see everyone, because he leaves for BETHEL this Sunday... :-( aww, Austin. Oh how you will be missed. Then, we finally met up with the rest of the crew- Kayla, Mitch, Zach, Josh, and Mike! So we all sat together at Salt and it was a really good time :-).

When Steve and I walked back to Helser, we hung out the rest of the night in his room. I watched him play some more lion king on sega, which is very exhilirating let me tell you (no sarcasm, i seriously love it). Then we chilled on the futon and watched CONAN. i definitely love the Conan O'Brien show... it is so funny. Steve likes it too. we laughed a lot. i love laughing. We popped some popcorn because I had the munchies, haha, and I ate the entire bag pretty much. We almost watched the movie Clerks 2, but it was getting kind of late so we decided against it. Brek came back so the three of us watched some more tv together and that was basically it.

Today (Friday)--
Steve came by my room and wanted to play in the snow, so we went outside between Helser & Eaton/Martin and played in the snow for a little bit. haha. it was really fun. I love the snow, and it was the BEST kind of snow because you could pack it super well! Steve was dominating me on the target hitting at the beginning... but I got him back with some really good snowball hits in the end. He started rolling a snowman, haha, and constructed the whole thing all by himself. I helped sculpt him a little. We gave him arms, eyes, and a mouth, but didnt have a carrot for the nose.... kind of sad. but oh well. he was an amazing snowman. We named him Jeremiah. Brek called, and then was yelling at us from Steve's room, and before you know it.... Brek and Chris were sprinting towards Jeremiah and.........yep, they demolished him. hahaha. Goodbye, Jeremiah :-(. He was a good snowman while it lasted! I was a little upset that they destroyed Jeremiah... so I hit Brek with a snowball, and he didnt like that so he pushed me into a big snow drift. hehe. I kind of knew that was coming. Anyway, then we all headed back in because Steve and Brek were gonna go run. So I came back to my room and decided to get a yummy smoothie-- number 19 babyyyy orange shooter! it's the best. I love all the vitamin C! ive been getting lots this week to help with my cold.

I showered and stuff... and ive basically just been hanging out the rest of the afternoon. I'm gonna have dinner with Kayla, Mitch, Mike, Zach and JR pretty soon here... then later tonight I'm watching a movie with Steve! YAY!! then TOMORROW... AUBREY is coming uppppp and i'm soooo excited the whole crew is gonna party all niiiiight. :-) i love my friends.

and i'm so glad i don't feel super sick anymore. yay! :-)

not ready to sleep yet.

Hot Tamales

Starfox

Slippers

Snow

Hot Tea

Typing

Scarfs

Blankets

my Psych book

picture of me and Cort from Valentines Dance '06

Texting

Ice Cream with Sprinkles

my Bible

Being alone

Reflecting

Card tricks

Cereal (code name)

Lindsey's Blog

Taste Buds

Water

This is a list of things I like right now. Neat, huh? :-)

Welcome to my Velvet Elvis

Lately my mind has been stirred up a lot. Just things that have happened around me, they've been messing with my head. I feel very stretched and strained inside, because I have so many things pulling my interest all at the same time. That's hard for me. I would rather focus on one thing and analyze every side of it, pick apart every little detail until I've exhausted it. Instead, I find myself thinking about one thing, then 5 minutes later I think about this other thing, and then I'm jumping to something else and thinking about that, then.... yeah, it just keeps going, and I can't fully think ONE thing over. I'm all jumbled up!

First off, I've been thinking about psychology vs. sociology, and why I am drawn more to psychology and find myself agreeing with psychologist's views more than sociologist's views. I am in a Developmental Psych class, and it's fascinating. I am also in an Intro to Sociology class, and my professor is fascinating. Here are some things from my Sociology class that have really stirred me up lately. Ok. My prof was saying that many of us have been raised and taught to believe that what was true 2,000 years ago is still true today. Then he went on to say that Sociology is a different way of thinking about that, because Sociologists believe that truth is dependent on social circumstances. If truth is dependent on anything, doesn't that mean you're saying that one truth to someone doesn't necessarily mean truth to another? So, basically, there is no absolute truth? Whether that's what he meant or not, I'm finding more and more that people my age are buying into the same theory where there is no real truth, because what's true for you may not be true for someone else- and that's ok, because, the only thing that matters is if it's true for you. Like, I seriously hear it all the time it seems... with anything, someone will throw in-- "that's fine if it's what you believe is right, but i dont think thats right for me." so like, if youre talking about, say, having sex before you're married... the statement is: "having sex before you're married is ok as long as its with someone you really love." and a relativist would say, "that's not right for me, but if it's right for you go ahead and do it." because everything's relative. i dont buy it. i dont know, that just really bothered me thinking about it... because it's so flawed. so if youre talking to someone who thinks that way, and you see their wallet sitting on the table, just take their wallet and start walking off. theyre gonna say something to you immediately like hey give me back my wallet. all you have to say is, well... taking this wallet is right for me. because, see, i get your money and everything thats in it and that will definitely help me out and make my life better. i mean, it may not be right for you... but hey its right for me, its good for me, so, tough luck. and so this person who was just using the same logic of relativism for something else, is obviously going to threaten to get the police involved.. he's not just gonna let you walk off with his wallet. but... he JUST said, "hey that's not right for me, but if its ok for you... then thats fine." but the minute someone else uses the same logic for THEIR own benefit and not yours, of course you go to a higher authority like the police. right?--of course you cant really do that. but its just an example of how relativism is completely bogus. because.. you can literally use it for like anything, and it just doesnt work like that.

i dont know, it kind of makes my head spin when i try to grasp the concept. i dont know, ive just been thinking about it.

I've been reading the book Velvet Elvis, by Rob Bell, the guy who did the Nooma videos I watched in high school youth group so many wonderful times. hehe. I really do like Rob Bell. I like what he has to say about Christianity. It's not like everything he has to say in the book is amazing and profound and just what I need to hear, or anything like that at all. but, it's just enjoyable and interesting to read someone else's views about the Christian faith because it gets me thinking. It gets me questioning. It stirs me to dig a little deeper into my own beliefs and connect with God on another level. It helps me grow. I like this one excerpt about some of the common faith discussions people have these days...

'Think about some of the words that are used in these kinds of discussions, one of the most common being the phrase "open-minded". Often the person with spirtual convictions is seen as close-minded and others are seen as open-minded. What is fascinating to me is that at the center of the Christian faith is the assumption that this life isn't all there is. THat there is more to life than the material. That existence is not limited to what we can see, touch, measure, taste, hear, and observe. One of the central assertions of the Christian world-view is that there is "more". Those who oppose this insist that this is all there is, that only what we can measure and observe and see with our eyes is real. There is nothing else. Which perspective is more "close-minded"? Which perspective is more "open"?'

Then another excerpt I liked:

'Jesus at one point claimed to be "the way, the truth, and the life". Jesus was not making claims about one religion being better than all other religions. That completely misses the point, the depth, and the truth. Rather, he was telling those who were following him that his way is the way to the depth of reality. This kind of life Jesus was living, perfectly and completely in connection and cooperation with God, is the best possible way for a person to live. It is how things are.

Jesus exposes us to reality at its rawest.

So the way of Jesus is not about religion; it's about reality.

It's about lining yourself up with how things are.

Perhaps a better question than who's right, is who's living rightly?'

Those two parts really got me thinking.
Unfortunately, I have to end this blog and do "important" things like... study for my poli. sci. exam tomorrow, and shower. and sleep. yeah, sleep. <3

Brad Pitt, you've got me hooked.

I love a good weekend with familiar faces. and new faces. all kinds of faces, really.

Friday night I had a movie date with Steve. The movie Snatch, with Brad Pitt and a bunch of other sweet actors, was a VERY good movie. Watching that movie and loving it so much continues to confirm my theory that I pretty much end up loving every movie I see that Brad Pitt stars in..... mostly because he is an amazing actor in my opinion, and a liiiiittle bit because he is smokin' HOT!

Saturday I arrived back home in West Des Moines around 3:30 pm, and scarfed down some McDonalds before heading downtown to the House of Bricks to see my ATA boys play a show. They were fantastic- duh. The band before Killpact was freaking amazing... I can't remember the name of the band... but Killpact, some metal band... mehhh... I guess I'm not much of a metal fan. yeah. actually I know I'm not. hehe. It was a good time though. Lindsey and I sat at the merch table and talked the whole time as the other bands played. After doing so, I decided I need and want to buy a Bukowski poetry book ASAP, and I also decided that I love Lindsey. But... that's really nothing new because I've always loved her. I think I just love her more maybe? haha, or maybe that's not even possible. Anyway- she's just great!!!!! :-)
Later that night after we were kicked out of HOB for being under 21... it had started to snow, so I was really happy. I love snow. Love love love it! The boys plus Kayla and Linds went to Luke's to unload and stuff, but I took a detour and visited Aubs at Starbucks. Right when I walked in the mall doors, I ran into Blake (Blewis, Kayla's bro) and Scotty. Blake gave me an amazing hug! I loooove amazing hugs! Yay. So I talked a little to Aubs and got my delicious white chocolate mocha... duh, what else would I get. Then I headed back to my house and most of the crew came over (Kay, Linds, Bry, Mitch, Zach, Sam, Emily C., James, Aubs). Kayla, Lindsey, Zach, Mitch, Bryan and I hottubbed (who cares that it was still snowing out?), which felt amazing! but.... I got really sick. Then, after about 20 minutes of pure nauseousness and almost throwing up the only meal I had eaten all day... I had a very awkward encounter with my dad, involving Zach and I going upstairs to get some food. Not gonna rehash that- it would probably just get me into a really bad mood. Because, after the encounter, I was in a crappy mood. My dad had been a jerk all night to me and my friends... so I wasn't very happy. But, my friends, being the amazing, wonderful human beings that they are, made me feel good again. Their words and hugs mean the world to me. I just love them. Plain and simple. They really are the best people in the whole world. I would know... because... I've met every single person in the universe. yup. it's true. hehe.

Aubrey and Kayla spent the niiiiiight! We watched Night at the Roxbury and laughed our heads off... had some good talks... then went to bed around 2. All the while, beautiful snow flakes fell to the earth and I couldn't wait to wake up the next morning and see a fresh blanket of snow and bigger snow drifts on curbs. Today, I picked up Aubrey for lunch at Panera, and Caely and Natalie met us there. It was sooo good to get to see Nat and Cae finally. I was beginning to think I wouldn't get to see them, which would be very sad indeed, because I do not think I will be coming home to wdm probably for a couple weeks or so. Yay! So lunch was wonderful. We ran into a bunch of people we knew. Then, Cae and Nat left, and Zach, Aubs and I saw the movie Night At the Museum! Two things to say about that... 1- THE AWESOME THREESOME BACK TOGETHER AGAIN! YEAHHH!! 2- such a great movie! it was hilarious and actually GOOD! yayyy!

Zach and I drove back to Ames around 5, and so here I am. I don't have any homework due to preoccupy myself with until Tuesday... so... I'm a little bored. Hence, the blog. Well, and it was a good weekend I wanted to write about. so yeah. I wanted to see Steve at some point, but he's pretty busy tonight so I don't think I'll be able to do that. sad! I like him :-)

Two things I am pretty excited about that are coming up in the life of Emily...
1- MATT WERTZ is coming to the M-shop here in Ames. FREAKIn' yeah!
2- my Theology of the Bible class, through Cornerstone Church here in Ames, starts the first week of February on Mondays... Erin, Jamie and I are all going to take it, and i am pretty pumped about it. I've always wanted to learn more about theological stuff and what not, so here's my chance.

I think I'm going to just do some homework anyway... and go to bed early... because I feel like I'm getting sick. I had a fever, but I took something for it, so that helped a little.. I still feel crappy though, and crappier with every passing minute! dah!! i dont need to be sick this week.. i need to be healthy so i can go to class and not be a bum. haha. ok, whatever we'll see what happens I guess. <3

it's snowing...

I have to get these thoughts written down immediately or i might lose them! I JUST arrived home in good ol' Helser, and lots and lots of things happened. So now I am going to retell exactly what I saw...

As I began my walk back home from my friends' dorm on the other side of campus, I wasn't exactly eager to freeze my butt off from the winter air around me. Instead, something fell over me, calming me and warming me. I realized, it was snow. Snow was falling all around me, it was falling and landing on my face and my hair, my coat and my jeans. It was faintly crunching beneath my shoes with each step I took. I started ascending the small hill before I reached my halfway point, between their dorm and mine, and my head was filled with thoughts of the weather surrounding me. I had already passed two strangers at this point, one a man and another a woman. They neither smiled nor made any notice at me or the phenomenon floating down to the ground before us. It bothered me. Passing my halfway point, I thought about the cliches that are often connected with snow. Like, snow is the ultimate symbol of purity in the world. It falls from the sky, the purest white you've ever seen, and covers the land with a blanket of white. I've heard that all my life, or thought it myself many times over the years. Another cliche might be that snow is the symbol for new beginnings. Snow is the visual proof that the season has changed once again. With that change, a new season is here to stay for a while. Fall is no longer and Spring is the future. With a snow fall, the land is covered and everything under that fresh layer of snow can no longer be seen. So start fresh. You have a clean plate, a clean plate of snow that you can now start filling again with new mistakes, new experiences, new relationships, whatever you want. New beginnings come from the snowfall, perhaps the snow is forgiveness in tangible form. I thought about how I had heard those metaphorical statements before, and then formed something new. New to myself, at least. I can't recall ever thinking this before: sure, the snow could symbolize purity, change, new beginnings, hope, forgiveness... but you know what I think it symbolizes the most? Picture someone who means the world to you. This person pretty much IS the world to you. But then, this person starts to live their life without you, without caring about you, without wanting to know you all the sudden- they live on their own, away from you. They do all things that all people around us do now- build, walk, destroy, eat, drink, grow, speak, etc. Before you know it, this person who used to be this wonderful, beautiful, pure person... is messy, and dirty, and full of unclean things. But something inside of you stops you from hating this person, instead, you have a neverending amount of love for them. No matter how much they hurt you by separating themselves from you, no matter how much they spited you for dirtying up something meant to be clean and so pure-- you just love them more than anything. What happens next? You show them your love, by sending something pure and beautiful down to them, to cover all their uncleanliness with your love, and give them new chances, time and time again, to live pure and clean like they were meant to live. Snow is like love. That's what I decided on my walk tonight, and nobody can tell me any different, i'm sticking with love. And i know someone somewhere is going to think how cliche that is, and how unoriginal I am. but I think snow is like love.

I had about 6 or 7 minutes to go til I arrived home to my dorm. My steps had led me past two more people, who behaved exactly the same as the last two people I had encountered walking up the hill. And right after I thought how sad it was that no one walking by me seemed to be enjoying the snow flakes floating around us as much as me... another person was walking in the opposite direction of me. And as we passed, she made eye contact with me and spoke as if she was bursting to tell me, "isn't it pretty...?!" and gave me this huge smile, to match my own! oh wow! I was smiling and responded, "oh I know! I love it!!" ...and we both continued on our ways. Not a second later, the path split into two paths ahead of me, and I saw to the left path a man and a woman, kissing under brown trees with white tips. I thought for a moment I had wandered into a dream world, where couples embraced and kissed as snow fell gently all around them and wrapped them up in bliss-- then, I realized it was real, it was happening right there... and so I kept walking. I crossed the street and I was still taking in what had just occurred. First the girl who shared my joy, and second the kissing couple in dream world. It was then I noticed something. My body temperature had dropped tremendously since I first walked into the cold, frosty air. But it was weird, really weird... because I didn't feel cold at all. I knew I was, but I couldn't really tell. I wasn't numb. I could feel everything else, so I know it wasn't numbness. No. I had snow flakes all over me. The direction I was walking in at that time made it so the snow was floating right at my face, into my eyes. I could feel every soft, cold flake hit my face, but I wasn't feeling cold at all. My body wasn't cold, because my heart was warm. My soul was warm. There's no other explanation. I was very close to my destination at this point in my walk. But it wasn't over yet. I looked up towards the black sky, and saw every white flake falling with grace to the ground. Slowly, very slowly. It almost seemed as if time could have been stopped, and each flake would have just stayed in mid-air... it was falling with that much grace.

It occurred to me then, that snow was unique. Every kind of substance, or kind of weather (at least that I can think of right now) that comes from the sky and the clouds above us... makes noise as it floats and falls. You can hear wind. You can hear it blowing past your ears, and blowing leaves around the concrete. You can hear rain when it hits the ground, when it hits your roof, your car. You can hear it splash into puddles in the parking lot, into rain gutters around your house. You can obviously hear hail. Clearly, thunder and lightning make quite a racket as well. But... what about snow? Nope. Snow is silent. The action of snow falling to the ground is completely quiet. That's why it's so peaceful, and so calming to me. It's unique that way, isn't it? The way it doesn't create any noise as it falls to the earth, but it just falls. I love that.

I was about to place my hand on the door to my dorm and open it, but... I turned back. I stood there. I wasn't cold. So I just stood there a while, and looked out at the world around me. Not wanting to leave the beauty of snow and its comfort, I walked some more. I walked around my dorm and closed my eyes a few times as the snow hit my face. I felt the soft little crystals chill my face and never wanted it to stop for some reason. I was back to the door, once again, and I couldn't bring myself to opening it. I wasn't done yet. So I walked up some steps to the building I spend so many of my mealtimes at, and I leaned against the railing and watched the snow falling to the ground around campus. A few minutes later, I returned to the door, opened it, and climbed four flights to my domain. I left the winter wonderland outside, in hope that when I return to it in the morning, the land will still be covered in beautiful snow... new, fresh snow. I rapidly unlocked the door to my room, pulled off my damp coat and shoes, and sat down here so that I could write everything that just happened and every detail I could remember from my walk home. So that is what I just did.

Sorry for any mechanical errors you may have found. I'll come back later and check over my grammar and what not- of course. But you must not get angry, because it is 3 in the morning and I am tired. Goodnight!!!

"she's got blisters on the soles of her feet, she can't walk- but she's trying..."

Isn't it crazy sometimes how much certain people affect your life? I'm a firm believer of EVERY person being capable of influencing and affecting someone else's life in some way-- sometimes it's a HUGE influence. Sometimes very little. And other times... somewhere in between. And of course, these people who influence our lives can influence our lives two ways- positively, or negatively. But, I think it's important to note that no matter what happens, no matter how bad it hurts you, no matter how deeply you are wounded- everything you go through only makes you stronger and better than before. So maybe someone does influence your life in a negative way. But later on, you will realize how much you grew because of it. And that's life, baby. It's also so crazy how different people affect your life at very different times-- that also goes along with that whole, "people come and people go" thing. Of course, some people's influence in your life lasts longer than others-- muuuuch longer than some. Some people's ways of affecting your life stay forever apart of who you are. For a lot of us, it's your parents whose influence stays with us the longest. But, I think, also it's not always so much the length of influence that creates lasting impressions, but more so the depth. You probably can think of someone in your life now, or someone who used to be perhaps, that, in the grand scheme of life, doesn't really add up to that much time spent with their influence. And yet, when you really think about it, that person affected you the most-- more than ANYONE else ever could. Maybe the explanation for such a deep affection has to do with what you were going through personally when you knew this person. Maybe it's just because of who you are, and who that person really is-- the connection is just there. That makes me think about something else that's kind of crazy about relationships. Isn't it weird how much you have to work to keep a relationship with one person good, and how LITTLE you must work at another relationship with someone else? Maybe the two of you are just so polar opposite that it makes it hard sometimes-- or, maybe the two of you are so similar that it causes problems in certain situations. Who knows. Those are just two basic ways I can think of off the top of my head, but there are so many others-- people are just so complex, it's impossible to predict every situation outcome with every relationship throughout your life. Simply impossible.

People are fascinating. Aren't they??

"that unspoken feeling.. of knowing that right now is all that matters."

i love my friends.

i love their personalities. and that they have them.

i love how funny they are.

i love that no matter how mad i get at some of them, at the end of the day, i love 'em just the same.

i love their hugs.

i love seeing them all the time.

i love when my phone goes off and i know it's one of them from the ring tone.

i love that they love me even though i annoy them a lot, especially after i drink a lot of mountain dew.

i love their company.

i love helping them with their homework, and studying with them.

i love the adventures we have together.

i love that i learn from them.

i love that i'm better when i'm with them.

i love that they've seen me at my worst, and probably my best too.

i love how much we eat when we're together.

i love that they introduce me to new music, especially music i never thought i'd listen to and like.

i love that they pray for me in my times of trouble.

i love their smiles.

i love knowing that it doesnt matter what we do when we're together, just that we're together.

basically, i feel really special knowing that God looks after me by giving me wonderful friends.