I've been reading this book that Tim recommended, and it's called "God's Big Picture," by Vaughan Roberts. Basically, it is amazing. I am learning so much and growing deeper in my relationship with God, as I seek to know Him more and know His Word better. I wake up every day thirsting to know more about my Creator. I have read about 80ish pages so far, and this is what I've gotten from it so far:
-The Old Testament
1. the pattern of the kingdom
2. the perished kingdom
3. the promised kingdom
4. the partial kingdom
5. the prophesied kingdom
-The New Testament
6. the present kingdom
7. the proclaimed kingdom
8. the perfect kingdom
-the kingdom of God= God's people in God's place under God's rule and blessing.
-The Bible...
contains 66 books written by about 40 humans authors over nearly 2,000 years
has 2 main sections... Old and New, written in 2 main language... Hebrew and Greek
includes mixture of types of literature
39 books in Old, written 3rd century B.C.
27 books in New, written 1st century A.D.
Gospels are four accounts of the birth, life, teaching, death and resurrection of Jesus.
Acts, written by Luke, records the spread of the good news of Jesus after his ascension into heaven.
The Epistles are letters written mainly by Christ's chosen apostles.
Paul wrote Romans to Philemon.
but New Testament also contains letters from Peter, John, James, and Jude.
No one knows who wrote to the Hebrews.
Revelation is John's vision described.
-Just as the Lord Jesus was both fully human and fully divine, so the Bible is both a human and a divine book.
-it is united by ONE author= GOD.
-ONE subject= Jesus Christ and the salvation God offers through him.
-God's plan
-Old Testament: Promise
-New Testament: Fulfillment
-the way you read a book depends on the kind of book you think it is.
-the Bible is ONE book.
does not contain isolated sayings
each verse needs to be understood in the context of the chapter in which it appears
God's kingdom is the binding theme of the whole Bible
God's covenant promises ARE kingdom promises (some people think they are separate)
-There has never been a time when God, the three in one, was not.
-the Bible never allows us to rank the spiritual above the physical. Matter matters because God made it; it is 'good'.
"Human beings are animals. They are sometimes monsters, sometimes magnifcent, but always animals."
-but... WE alone, of ALL God's creation, have been made IN HIS IMAGE.
-we are made BY God and made LIKE God.
-'Rest' is the goal of creation.
-God's law is not oppressive; it is for our good.
-Man is created first, then the woman as his helper. Man is the LEADER in the relationship, but his authority is not ABUSED and the woman doesn't RESIST it. They enjoy marital bliss. They have complete intimacy WITHOUT fear or guilt.
-part of the purpose of the Sabbath law was to remind the Israelites that that is ultimately what life was designed for, rather than the concerns of the present world.
-we can experience something of that rest even in this fallen world.
-Satan is powerful, but not equal to God.
God alone is eternal
Satan is therefore a created being, but then must have rebelled against God.
-it doesn't matter whether or not we understand where evil comes from, but it is important that we know if its existence.
-Adam and Eve's FALL:
their sin is that of law-making, not just law-breaking.
they were saying, "from now on, God, we want to be the law-makers in the world, setting the standards by which we live."
usurping His authority and establishing their independence from Him
this has been the nature of sin EVER SINCE.
relationships between men and women is forever broken... the perfect trust and intimacy have now gone.
God tells the woman of sexual desire and a longing to take control over her husband
she will no longer submit willingly to his lead and he will no longer exercise it in the loving, self-sacrificial way that was God's design
the old innocence is gone... and by nature when he calls us back into fellowship with him, we always run away.
God's warning was not a mere THREAT. he carried out their spiritual death just like he said would happen to them.
once the vertical relationship with God has been broken, it is inevitable that horizontal relationships with one another will be broken as well.
so it is not a surprise that the first murder happens shortly after the fall
-Cain kills his brother Abel
-so the Lord created the great flood
it was a reversal of creation, a return to chaos
-then the Tower of Babel was built
it was a symbol of our sinful desire to exalt ourselves and be independent of God
-so God scatters people throughout earth and gives them different languages-- DIVISION among people, not just between us and God.
-God's motivation for rescuing the world was not, first and foremost, to make us happy -- although that is certainly one final result.
-rather, He is seeking to restore thing to the way they should be.
-God is in the center of the world that he has made
-but since the Fall, humans have refused to accept his right to be there and have tried to depose him.
-the results have been catastrophic
-when the King is in the middle, everything else falls into place.
SIN ---------> JUDGMENT-------------> GRACE.
-After killing Abel, Cain is driven into exile. But God does not completely abandon him. He places a protective mark on Cain and promises that anyone who kills him will himself be judged.
-Covenant= a binding agreement
-'testament' is another word for covenant
-a solemn committment
-appears 285 times in Old testament, 33 times in New.
Noah Covenant. sign= a rainbow
Abrahamic covenant. sign= circumcision
Mosaic covenant. sign= the Sabbath
New covenant. sign= baptism
-The promises Abraham received: people, land, and blessing.
people: "I will be your God, and you will be my people."
land: the promised land, Canaan.
blessing: through Abraham's descendants, "all people on earth will be blessed."
-the curse of the fall would be replaced by the blessing of salvation
-Abram ('exalted father') changed to Abraham ('father of a multitude').
-the history of Israel from Abraham until the high point of the monarchy under Solomon
-period of over 1,000 years
Genesis 12-Exodus 18
the 'people' promise
Exodus 19-end of Leviticus
the 'rule and blessing' promise
Numbers-Joshua
the 'land' promise
Judges-2 Chronicles
the 'King' promise
the patriarchs: Abraham and Sarah, then Isaac and Rebekah, sons are Esau and Jacob. Jacob has 12 sons, one being Joseph.
Ephesians 2:8-9
"it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so that no one can boast."
'Isaac'= "he laughs"
-God tells Abraham to sacrifice Isaac
-Abraham, full of grief, but obeys and has faith.
-God provides him with a ram at last minute to sacrifice instead of Isaac.
*Trust in the gospel promises EVEN WHEN we cannot understand what God is doing in our lives.
-Jacob tricks father Isaac into giving HIM his blessing instead of older son Esau
-God does not choose people on merit.
-Jacob has 12 sons
Joseph is his favorite, and all other brothers are jealous
brothers sell Joseph as a slave and tell Jacob that he is dead
Joseph ends up in Egypt and in prison for something he did not do
-Is God really in control????????? YES!
Joseph interprets the Pharoah's dreams and he is released and made Prime Minister of Egypt
Canaan is threatened by famine and so Joseph's brothers go to Egypt for help... and run into Joseph!
Joseph helps them, and it results in the preservation of God's people
***God always overrules to ensure that his gospel promises are protected.
-we may not always understand how he does that.
Showing posts with label books/movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label books/movies. Show all posts
Friday, August 01, 2008
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Captivating
Captivating is a book by John & Stasi Eldredge, same author of the best-seller Wild At Heart. I am learning so much about being a woman, it's amazing. Things I never even though of before, things I have always felt but never understood before, or things I have always known and need constant assurance and affirmation. These passages have spoken to me in ways I can't even explain:
"Every woman I've ever met feels it-- something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough, and, I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy. The result is Shame, the universal companion of women. It haunts us, nipping at our heels, feeding on our deepest fear that we will end up abandoned and alone."
"Now, being romanced isn't all that a woman wants, and John and I are certainly not saying that a woman ought to derive the meaning of her existence from whether or not she is being or has been romanced by a man... but don't you see that you want this? To be desired, to be pursued by one who loves you, to be someone's priority? Most of our addictions as women flare up when we feel that we are not loved or sought after. At some core place, maybe deep within, perhaps hidden or buried in her heart, every woman wants to be seen, watned, and pursued. We want to be romanced."
"We also developed ways of trying to get something of the love our hearts cried out for. The ache is there. Our desperate need for love and affirmation, our thirst for some taste of romance and adventure and beauty is there. So we turned to boys or to food or to romance novels; we lost ourselves in our work or at church or in some sort of service. All this adds up to the women we are today. Much of what we call our "personalities" is actually the mosaic of our choices for self-protection plus our plan to get something of the love we were created for.
The problem is our plan has nothing to do with God.
The wounds we received and the messages they brought formed a sort of unholy alliance with our fallen nature as women. From Eve we received a deep mistrust in the heart of God toward us. CLearly, he's holding out on us. We'll just have to arrange for the life we want. We will control our world. But there is also an ache deep within, an ache for intimacy and for life. We'll have to find a way to fill it. A way that does not require us to trust anyone, especially God. A way that will not require vulnerability.
In some ways, this is every little girl's story, here in this world east of Eden.
But the wounds don't stop once we are grown up. Some of the most crippling and destructive wounds we receive come much later in our lives. THe wounds that we have received over our lifetimes have not come to us in a vacuum. There is, in fact, a theme to them, a pattern. The wounds you have received have come to you for a purpose from one who knows all you are meant to be and fears you."
-------------
pretty cool.
"Every woman I've ever met feels it-- something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough, and, I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy. The result is Shame, the universal companion of women. It haunts us, nipping at our heels, feeding on our deepest fear that we will end up abandoned and alone."
"Now, being romanced isn't all that a woman wants, and John and I are certainly not saying that a woman ought to derive the meaning of her existence from whether or not she is being or has been romanced by a man... but don't you see that you want this? To be desired, to be pursued by one who loves you, to be someone's priority? Most of our addictions as women flare up when we feel that we are not loved or sought after. At some core place, maybe deep within, perhaps hidden or buried in her heart, every woman wants to be seen, watned, and pursued. We want to be romanced."
"We also developed ways of trying to get something of the love our hearts cried out for. The ache is there. Our desperate need for love and affirmation, our thirst for some taste of romance and adventure and beauty is there. So we turned to boys or to food or to romance novels; we lost ourselves in our work or at church or in some sort of service. All this adds up to the women we are today. Much of what we call our "personalities" is actually the mosaic of our choices for self-protection plus our plan to get something of the love we were created for.
The problem is our plan has nothing to do with God.
The wounds we received and the messages they brought formed a sort of unholy alliance with our fallen nature as women. From Eve we received a deep mistrust in the heart of God toward us. CLearly, he's holding out on us. We'll just have to arrange for the life we want. We will control our world. But there is also an ache deep within, an ache for intimacy and for life. We'll have to find a way to fill it. A way that does not require us to trust anyone, especially God. A way that will not require vulnerability.
In some ways, this is every little girl's story, here in this world east of Eden.
But the wounds don't stop once we are grown up. Some of the most crippling and destructive wounds we receive come much later in our lives. THe wounds that we have received over our lifetimes have not come to us in a vacuum. There is, in fact, a theme to them, a pattern. The wounds you have received have come to you for a purpose from one who knows all you are meant to be and fears you."
-------------
pretty cool.
Monday, October 22, 2007
All you need is love, love is all you need
I loved my weekend. It entailed celebrating a friend's birthday, seeing a visiting friend I rarely get to see and miss dearly, viewing an incredible movie with a bunch of my friends back in the WDM, and working on writing my memoir.
Sometimes there are movies that come along and inevitably rock my world. Across The Universe is one of those movies. It had all the components of a good movie, in my opinion, at least for the kind of movie you would categorize it as. The music was fabulous, obtaining the soundtrack for it was essential. It was artistic, and it blew me away. It was weird. It was about a different culture, it was about a time in our history when our country was at war in Vietnam and young people everywhere wanted to be radical and revolutionary. They wanted love and peace in true hippie fashion. One of the main characters was burdened with getting drafted and having to go to war, one was an artist who falls in love with another main character, and then there are all these other characters that make up this odd yet unified group of people all on their own journeys to find love, try to make a difference in the world, and bring peace to a troubled nation. The character portraits are fascinating. Jude and Max's voices are absolutely amazing in every song, I just want to listen to them all day and all night. The trippy-ness (trippiness?) is apparent throughout, and it brings comedy to an otherwise dark era filled with student protests ending in beatings and other violent measures by the police. There's a lesbian, there's a jimi hendrix guitarist representation, there's Bono playing a doctor with some weird trippy bus that drives around the country looking for hippies to join the movement for whatever his teaching was, there's the horror of discovering your son died at war and won't be coming home.
My absolute favorite scene (I have several...), was one in which Jude is in his "studio" office whatever you want to call it in the apartment, and Strawberry Fields plays while the movie flashes back and forth between his stabbing of strawberries and sticking them to the wall and watching the red juice run down the wall, to pictures of Vietnam and war devastation. It's outstanding. Then I also love one of the beginning scenes when Jojo is walking through the subway and the streets of New York with his guitar and you see all the people and the representation of the culture back then, and the pimp old man is singing "Come Together"... it's awesome. Then of course I loved the very climactic scene when Jude sings "Across the Universe" while he runs to find Lucy at a war protest after they had an argument, and the police come and start beating people and they get ahold of Lucy and Jude both and they try to grab for each other's hands, all the while flashes of Max in Vietnam come up, and then Jude ends up in jail.
Ugh and I LOVEEEE the scene where Jude sings "I've Just Seen a Face"... Lucy, Max, and him are bowling one night having fun before Max and Jude leave for New York, and Jude sings the song about falling for Lucy and the shots of people sliding down the alleys are just awesome... and I love scenes in movies where you see two people and realize they are going to end up together, so yeah, it made me happy. and I LOVED also the scene towards the end when Max is in a bar in New York and Jude is in a bar in Liverpool, and the mirror makes them appear to be sitting right next to each other and Max starts to sing "Hey Jude" and it's as if Jude hears Max singing to him, and so he gets up and leaves the bar and travels back to New York through the immigration center so he can find Lucy, the love of his life. AHHH, it's so great.
The only scene I really hated was the awkward water scene with all the naked yet not completely appearing naked asian women swimming around. It was very artistic, but very awkward. and I just really hate boobs in the movies!!!!!!! cause they're everywhere these days.
It's controversial, it's an important time of our history, it's an artist's dream come true. I loved it!
Sometimes there are movies that come along and inevitably rock my world. Across The Universe is one of those movies. It had all the components of a good movie, in my opinion, at least for the kind of movie you would categorize it as. The music was fabulous, obtaining the soundtrack for it was essential. It was artistic, and it blew me away. It was weird. It was about a different culture, it was about a time in our history when our country was at war in Vietnam and young people everywhere wanted to be radical and revolutionary. They wanted love and peace in true hippie fashion. One of the main characters was burdened with getting drafted and having to go to war, one was an artist who falls in love with another main character, and then there are all these other characters that make up this odd yet unified group of people all on their own journeys to find love, try to make a difference in the world, and bring peace to a troubled nation. The character portraits are fascinating. Jude and Max's voices are absolutely amazing in every song, I just want to listen to them all day and all night. The trippy-ness (trippiness?) is apparent throughout, and it brings comedy to an otherwise dark era filled with student protests ending in beatings and other violent measures by the police. There's a lesbian, there's a jimi hendrix guitarist representation, there's Bono playing a doctor with some weird trippy bus that drives around the country looking for hippies to join the movement for whatever his teaching was, there's the horror of discovering your son died at war and won't be coming home.
My absolute favorite scene (I have several...), was one in which Jude is in his "studio" office whatever you want to call it in the apartment, and Strawberry Fields plays while the movie flashes back and forth between his stabbing of strawberries and sticking them to the wall and watching the red juice run down the wall, to pictures of Vietnam and war devastation. It's outstanding. Then I also love one of the beginning scenes when Jojo is walking through the subway and the streets of New York with his guitar and you see all the people and the representation of the culture back then, and the pimp old man is singing "Come Together"... it's awesome. Then of course I loved the very climactic scene when Jude sings "Across the Universe" while he runs to find Lucy at a war protest after they had an argument, and the police come and start beating people and they get ahold of Lucy and Jude both and they try to grab for each other's hands, all the while flashes of Max in Vietnam come up, and then Jude ends up in jail.
Ugh and I LOVEEEE the scene where Jude sings "I've Just Seen a Face"... Lucy, Max, and him are bowling one night having fun before Max and Jude leave for New York, and Jude sings the song about falling for Lucy and the shots of people sliding down the alleys are just awesome... and I love scenes in movies where you see two people and realize they are going to end up together, so yeah, it made me happy. and I LOVED also the scene towards the end when Max is in a bar in New York and Jude is in a bar in Liverpool, and the mirror makes them appear to be sitting right next to each other and Max starts to sing "Hey Jude" and it's as if Jude hears Max singing to him, and so he gets up and leaves the bar and travels back to New York through the immigration center so he can find Lucy, the love of his life. AHHH, it's so great.
The only scene I really hated was the awkward water scene with all the naked yet not completely appearing naked asian women swimming around. It was very artistic, but very awkward. and I just really hate boobs in the movies!!!!!!! cause they're everywhere these days.
It's controversial, it's an important time of our history, it's an artist's dream come true. I loved it!
Friday, August 10, 2007
"From the inside out, Lord my soul cries out..."
If anybody would ask, I'd tell them that I had an amazing day today. I really did. It started out being a lot less than amazing, but then it turned out to be amazing.
Almost immediately after thinking and writing about how much I want to just sit and talk about important things, things that matter in life and are worth talking about, I received a phone call from my friend Lindsey to join her at Panera for food and good conversation. I was amazed. We talked about so many things... all of the stuff going on in our lives that is truly affecting us and truly important right now. I love those one-on-one talks, and I loved this one because I could see Lindsey's heart through all that she was saying. And there's something special about not just connecting on an intellectual level, or an emotional level, or just any kind of relational level in general- but a spiritual connection in conversation. It makes God that much more real to me, when I get to see His work through the communications that go on between me and my friends. I'm going to be a sophomore in college, and Lindsey will be a senior in high school, but her maturity really shone through when I was sitting there with her. And it made me feel good, because growth is good and change is good... and when I see people I love dearly growing in their walk with the Lord, it makes me feel unified with them and whole inside.
After driving to Trop Sno with her, briefly saying hi to Zach and James, I drove to Barnes & Noble and bought 5 amazing books that I cannot wait to read this year:
1. Mere Christianity -C.S. Lewis
2. Sex God -Rob Bell
3. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance -Robert M. Pirsig
4. The Bell Jar -Sylvia Plath
5. Brand New World -Aldous Huxley
6. and, the 3rd Harry Potter movie soundtrack (i'm pushing up my glasses as I type this...)
so that was amazing for me. Ugh, I love books.
Then Immersion tonight..... was awesome. I can't remember the last time I prayed that much, and for so many people, and so thoroughly, and deeply. And when we sang, "From The Inside Out," I totally forgot that I was in a room full of other people- it was just me and God, child and Father. I released so much, and gave, and took, and received... I haven't felt this whole in a long, long time. So one with the One who made me. It's amazing.
It was our last after-party at Scott's house. Our Thursday night ritual has come to an end as we all go our own ways for the school year, some of us clustered at Iowa State and U of Iowa, some at UNI, some in Missouri, some in Ohio... we're all heading off somewhere. I'm so glad I got to know everyone I didn't know until this summer, like Nick and Scott and Michelle. It's amazing how God brings such great people into your life. I love thinking about that. I, for one, will surely miss our Mac 'n Tea nights at Scott's after Immersion. :(
It's just been an amazing day after all of that. Nothing to complain about. Not even Zach slapping me in the eye numerous times.
Hey. I turn 19 in one day! :)
<3 the end
Almost immediately after thinking and writing about how much I want to just sit and talk about important things, things that matter in life and are worth talking about, I received a phone call from my friend Lindsey to join her at Panera for food and good conversation. I was amazed. We talked about so many things... all of the stuff going on in our lives that is truly affecting us and truly important right now. I love those one-on-one talks, and I loved this one because I could see Lindsey's heart through all that she was saying. And there's something special about not just connecting on an intellectual level, or an emotional level, or just any kind of relational level in general- but a spiritual connection in conversation. It makes God that much more real to me, when I get to see His work through the communications that go on between me and my friends. I'm going to be a sophomore in college, and Lindsey will be a senior in high school, but her maturity really shone through when I was sitting there with her. And it made me feel good, because growth is good and change is good... and when I see people I love dearly growing in their walk with the Lord, it makes me feel unified with them and whole inside.
After driving to Trop Sno with her, briefly saying hi to Zach and James, I drove to Barnes & Noble and bought 5 amazing books that I cannot wait to read this year:
1. Mere Christianity -C.S. Lewis
2. Sex God -Rob Bell
3. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance -Robert M. Pirsig
4. The Bell Jar -Sylvia Plath
5. Brand New World -Aldous Huxley
6. and, the 3rd Harry Potter movie soundtrack (i'm pushing up my glasses as I type this...)
so that was amazing for me. Ugh, I love books.
Then Immersion tonight..... was awesome. I can't remember the last time I prayed that much, and for so many people, and so thoroughly, and deeply. And when we sang, "From The Inside Out," I totally forgot that I was in a room full of other people- it was just me and God, child and Father. I released so much, and gave, and took, and received... I haven't felt this whole in a long, long time. So one with the One who made me. It's amazing.
It was our last after-party at Scott's house. Our Thursday night ritual has come to an end as we all go our own ways for the school year, some of us clustered at Iowa State and U of Iowa, some at UNI, some in Missouri, some in Ohio... we're all heading off somewhere. I'm so glad I got to know everyone I didn't know until this summer, like Nick and Scott and Michelle. It's amazing how God brings such great people into your life. I love thinking about that. I, for one, will surely miss our Mac 'n Tea nights at Scott's after Immersion. :(
It's just been an amazing day after all of that. Nothing to complain about. Not even Zach slapping me in the eye numerous times.
Hey. I turn 19 in one day! :)
<3 the end
Monday, August 06, 2007
"...my soul has never had this feeling, and it feels like gold"
I'm just EXCITED to get back to school!
To give you a picture of what I mean...
When I'm just sitting at home, I probably walk downstairs to my basement at the least 5 times a day just to walk by and get a glimpse of all my bins and things that will finally be transferred to my new room in Friley in just a little over one week. I can't wait to get out of here. Here. It's abstract. I can't wait to get out of this place- not a specific place, just this place that I'm in right here, right now. I can't wait to be somewhere new again, to change. I can't wait to pack up the last few things in my room here in my parent's house, and just fly the coop. I get a sick feeling in my stomach just thinking about it, about all the anxiety and all the feelings swirling around because I'm looking forward to it so much and I don't think the move can come soon enough! Some moments I'm overwhelmed because it seems like there's so much more I have to do and things I have to accomplish and tasks I must finish before I move back in to college next Wednesday, but other moments I'm just dying to be there RIGHT this second and it seems like time is moving so slowly ughhhhh. You know? To be honest, I'm not eating that much. and I think it's because I'm SO eager and SO anxious and SOOO looking forward to next week that I can't find the appetite inside of me to eat food.... seriously. I eat maybe one and a half meals per day. ahh.
I'm excited for so many different reasons:
-seeing and reuniting with friends I made last year, all of the Helser gang, eating meals with Mel, Brek and Steve, tennis with Andrew, mountain dew drinking aplenty with Pitz and Andrew, Mario Party/Mario Kart with everyone, Disney movies with Bryce.
-being a sophomore, having some experience (some).
-being up in Ames with Aubrey (together again!), Caely, Natalie, James, and Nick :)
-having my sister's apartment to go to
-having my own room, hopefully being able to deal with my disease and sickness more easily
-changing my major
-being involved in the Salt Co., Thursday nights!!!
-weekends out at parties, still not drinking.
-Fat Night!!!!
-more new people I will meet, from my new House and dorm and stuff
-being away from mom and dad's problems
-the freedom, of course
-just being back in a place that is now a real home to me!
---------------------------------------------------
I was doing a devotional yesterday afternoon after I opened at Trop Sno, and I read from this book called Promises, Promises, Promises. It takes verses from The Message version of the Bible and has them categorized in every life situation you can imagine being in, and all it does is encourage and fill you up with the promises of God's Word. It's all so simple and easy to understand too, just black and white, and I like that. Anywayyyy, so these are kind of some main things I was pondering and praying about and writing about:
~Colossians 3:16-17... 'Let the Word of Christ - the Message - have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives - words, actions, whatever - be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.'
~on ANGER... 'A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.' --Proverbs 15:1
~'Don't hang out with angry people; don't keep company with hotheads. Bad temper is contagious- don't get infected.' --Proverbs 22:24-25
~on BELIEF... 'Keep your eyes open, hold tight to your convictions, give it all you've got, be resolute.' --1 Corinthians 16:13
~relating to Justin's talk last Thursday at Immersion... James 2:14-17... essentially: 'God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense!' (like the shell of a locust...... get the connection?)
~Dimensions of good character:
Spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, generous love..... develop and build on these.
----------------------------------------------------
I'm learning how to be content with what God gives me. The end! <3
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
"I think that we've got what it takes to get this heart start beating again..."
"...So take it all the way!
Whoa, whoa
and our hearts are on the everglow
deep inside we both know it
everything's hanging on this moment
whoa, whoa
and our hearts are on the everglow
every action begs a reaction
we'll figure it out, and make it happen
whoa, whoa
and our hearts are on the everglow
so just let go and fall into it!"
Life's tugging at me again. You know how things just make you feel a little crazy sometimes, like you want so much more, but you're just not getting it. I'm a pretty open person, at least I'd like to say so without being labeled as one of those crazy, psycho open people who make everyone else feel uncomfortable they're just SO open about anything and everything. I'm not afraid to be vulnerable. I'm afraid of being taken advantage of when I'm in a vulnerable state, because it's happened more than once, but, being vulnerable itself doesn't scare me. I can admit to certain things that I guess some people have a really hard time admitting. Maybe because I grew up being a weird kid who wrote all the time and one of those freaks who kept notebooks and notebooks full of stuff they wrote throughout their life..? You can't be a writer if you're a liar. Writing is so intimate, people smell bs (censored) before they get to the second paragraph. So I've been disciplined through writing to just be honest. Being honest doesn't make things easier all the time, and it doesn't take away confusion... but the truth shall set you free. duh. everyone knows that.
If I could wish for anything right now, it'd be to fall in love. Not just, I want to be with you all the time, I think about you every second of every day love, but- I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side love. The love that drives you so crazy, you write love songs and poetry and it makes you feel like you don't care what happens as long as you're with the person you're in love with. Is it obtainable? Is it unrealistic? Sometimes I think it'll never happen, I'll be completely honest. Sometimes I can't imagine having a husband and kids someday because I can't see myself ever getting to that place in my life. But, ugh, other times? I just want to sit in my room all day and sing and dance and write about love. And not think about anything else. I just want to dream about the one who's going to come into my life and change me forever. The one who will sweep me off my feet and hold me in their arms until death do us part.
Sometimes I hear a song and it makes me feel like love- does that make ANY sense? to feel like love? I mean to feel like a cloud is surrounding your body and you're embodying love itself? and I stop breathing for a moment because my heart feels so incomplete when I realize how we were not meant to be alone and by ourselves. We were meant to be unified with another counterpart, to share our lives, to share our souls together as one. I close my eyes and all I see is a silhouette somewhere far off in the distance, far enough to be out of reach, but close enough to still be in view.
I blame this insanity on my recent viewing of one of my favorite movies ever- Wicker Park, and also listening to too much Mae. If I had someone do everything to find me and finally find me and come behind me and sit there just waiting for me to turn around and meet their gaze, and then cling to me and forget the hundreds of people walking around us and only see the person holding my face and kissing me and looking at me like I'm the most beautiful person their eyes have ever seen.... I would probably die of happiness, shock, and utter joy. No, I'd just know what love really is.
If you don't have a clue where I'm getting this lovey-dovey-mushy-gushy crap from, listen to "Breakdown", "The Everglow", and "Ready and Waiting to Fall" by Mae... and then watch the movie Wicker Park and pay close attention to the last scene. I'm serious!
"...But that September sky
how it whispered "I love you"
but I couldn't take it any longer
no I couldn't stand..."
Whoa, whoa
and our hearts are on the everglow
deep inside we both know it
everything's hanging on this moment
whoa, whoa
and our hearts are on the everglow
every action begs a reaction
we'll figure it out, and make it happen
whoa, whoa
and our hearts are on the everglow
so just let go and fall into it!"
Life's tugging at me again. You know how things just make you feel a little crazy sometimes, like you want so much more, but you're just not getting it. I'm a pretty open person, at least I'd like to say so without being labeled as one of those crazy, psycho open people who make everyone else feel uncomfortable they're just SO open about anything and everything. I'm not afraid to be vulnerable. I'm afraid of being taken advantage of when I'm in a vulnerable state, because it's happened more than once, but, being vulnerable itself doesn't scare me. I can admit to certain things that I guess some people have a really hard time admitting. Maybe because I grew up being a weird kid who wrote all the time and one of those freaks who kept notebooks and notebooks full of stuff they wrote throughout their life..? You can't be a writer if you're a liar. Writing is so intimate, people smell bs (censored) before they get to the second paragraph. So I've been disciplined through writing to just be honest. Being honest doesn't make things easier all the time, and it doesn't take away confusion... but the truth shall set you free. duh. everyone knows that.
If I could wish for anything right now, it'd be to fall in love. Not just, I want to be with you all the time, I think about you every second of every day love, but- I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side love. The love that drives you so crazy, you write love songs and poetry and it makes you feel like you don't care what happens as long as you're with the person you're in love with. Is it obtainable? Is it unrealistic? Sometimes I think it'll never happen, I'll be completely honest. Sometimes I can't imagine having a husband and kids someday because I can't see myself ever getting to that place in my life. But, ugh, other times? I just want to sit in my room all day and sing and dance and write about love. And not think about anything else. I just want to dream about the one who's going to come into my life and change me forever. The one who will sweep me off my feet and hold me in their arms until death do us part.
Sometimes I hear a song and it makes me feel like love- does that make ANY sense? to feel like love? I mean to feel like a cloud is surrounding your body and you're embodying love itself? and I stop breathing for a moment because my heart feels so incomplete when I realize how we were not meant to be alone and by ourselves. We were meant to be unified with another counterpart, to share our lives, to share our souls together as one. I close my eyes and all I see is a silhouette somewhere far off in the distance, far enough to be out of reach, but close enough to still be in view.
I blame this insanity on my recent viewing of one of my favorite movies ever- Wicker Park, and also listening to too much Mae. If I had someone do everything to find me and finally find me and come behind me and sit there just waiting for me to turn around and meet their gaze, and then cling to me and forget the hundreds of people walking around us and only see the person holding my face and kissing me and looking at me like I'm the most beautiful person their eyes have ever seen.... I would probably die of happiness, shock, and utter joy. No, I'd just know what love really is.
If you don't have a clue where I'm getting this lovey-dovey-mushy-gushy crap from, listen to "Breakdown", "The Everglow", and "Ready and Waiting to Fall" by Mae... and then watch the movie Wicker Park and pay close attention to the last scene. I'm serious!
"...But that September sky
how it whispered "I love you"
but I couldn't take it any longer
no I couldn't stand..."
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
you can fly, you can fly, you can fly, you can fly, you can FLY!!
Tonight, the college kids plus Sam, Bry, and Rob, watched a classic Disney movie at Foster's house. Peter Pan!!!!!!! Sam, Kayla and I got a kick out of naming everyone in our group of friends as they would resemble the characters of the movie.. in personality or looks or both. It was stinkin hilarious! I think we got just about everyone figured out...?? Here it goes.
The Lost Boys
the bear (the resemblance is remarkable): Bryan
the two twin raccoons: Natalie and Caely
the rabbit (can't see his eyes very well, hehe): Kate
the fox (loud and obnoxious laugh): me
the skunk (so stylish in black and white): sorry Lindsey you're the last one to get named and this is the only one left hahaha
Peter Pan (based on who is most childish...): Mitch
Wendy (the mother, duhh): Sam
Tinkerbelle (the jealous b*tch...haha, but of course so very loyal and sweet to Peter too!): Kayla
The Little Bros
John (intelligent, inquisitive bro): James
Michael (silly, little boy): Rob
one of the Indians: Mike
Indian Chief w/ the really deep voice: Tim
Princess Tiger Lily (hot damsel in distress): Aubrey
The Pirates
Captain Hook (Fos should have been born into the life of a pirate): Foster (or it also could be Tim, because of his mustache...but that can be disputed)
Smee (loves to drink like a pirate): JR
The Crocodile (Zach's caveman grunts are basically equivalent to the crocodile's hunger grunts as he rubs his belly like a stupid idiot whenever Hook is near, haha): Zach
ok, so yeah.. good times. Next Disney movie we MUST watch: The Rescuers Down Under!!!
Goodnight <3
The Lost Boys
the bear (the resemblance is remarkable): Bryan
the two twin raccoons: Natalie and Caely
the rabbit (can't see his eyes very well, hehe): Kate
the fox (loud and obnoxious laugh): me
the skunk (so stylish in black and white): sorry Lindsey you're the last one to get named and this is the only one left hahaha
Peter Pan (based on who is most childish...): Mitch
Wendy (the mother, duhh): Sam
Tinkerbelle (the jealous b*tch...haha, but of course so very loyal and sweet to Peter too!): Kayla
The Little Bros
John (intelligent, inquisitive bro): James
Michael (silly, little boy): Rob
one of the Indians: Mike
Indian Chief w/ the really deep voice: Tim
Princess Tiger Lily (hot damsel in distress): Aubrey
The Pirates
Captain Hook (Fos should have been born into the life of a pirate): Foster (or it also could be Tim, because of his mustache...but that can be disputed)
Smee (loves to drink like a pirate): JR
The Crocodile (Zach's caveman grunts are basically equivalent to the crocodile's hunger grunts as he rubs his belly like a stupid idiot whenever Hook is near, haha): Zach
ok, so yeah.. good times. Next Disney movie we MUST watch: The Rescuers Down Under!!!
Goodnight <3
Monday, May 07, 2007
one ring to rule them all
[free from one heartache, yet enslaved to another
i don't think it will ever end, really.]
it's just interesting how much you want something to stick around, but at the same time, you want it to go away. life is full of paradoxes like that.
---
I'm watching "Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" right now.... it's at the part where Aragorn bids adieu to Frodo as Frodo realizes he can't trust anyone and must make his way to Mordor solo. Sooo good. I haven't watched LOTR in quite a while... but I can still quote almost every line of it. I know, I'm a big nerd.
I began reading a book today that was a gift from my lovely sister. It's called, "The Gospel According to Tolkien"... and it's freaking awesome so far. I've been a fan of Tolkien ever since I read the LOTR Trilogy, starting when I was in 8th grade. Then I obviously saw all of the movies multiple times (and by multiple... I mean... probably more than 50 times), and I also read The Hobbit, then The Silmarillion. Next I began reading "The Lost Books" by Tolkien, which consists of I think 6 books that he wrote all about Middle-Earth, and I'm still only on the first one. Anyway, I think Tolkien was a genius. I love his views on Christianity and learning about his friendship with C.S. Lewis (who I also love to read and read about). Anyway, this new book I started reading today is all about how Tolkien clearly centered LOTR around Christianity with all of its symbolism, yet purposefully wrote the story to be without religion and only indirectly points to Christian theology and ideas. It's fascinating. You should read it if you have an interest in Lord of the Rings and/or Tolkien (umm, how could you not...).
---
I hate knowing that I NEED to do something, yet not wanting to do that something at all.
I hate that the way I am makes it such a struggle for me to do certain things that I would consider most people perfectly capable of doing with no struggle at all.
---
I am going to change my major at ISU. I'm going to change it from Journalism & Mass Communication to a major in English with a concentration in Rhetorical Studies, and have a double minor in Psychology and Political Science. Complicated? Of course, it's me. What else would you expect? seriously.
---
Well my movie is over, so I'm going to bed now. Peace out.
i don't think it will ever end, really.]
it's just interesting how much you want something to stick around, but at the same time, you want it to go away. life is full of paradoxes like that.
---
I'm watching "Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" right now.... it's at the part where Aragorn bids adieu to Frodo as Frodo realizes he can't trust anyone and must make his way to Mordor solo. Sooo good. I haven't watched LOTR in quite a while... but I can still quote almost every line of it. I know, I'm a big nerd.
I began reading a book today that was a gift from my lovely sister. It's called, "The Gospel According to Tolkien"... and it's freaking awesome so far. I've been a fan of Tolkien ever since I read the LOTR Trilogy, starting when I was in 8th grade. Then I obviously saw all of the movies multiple times (and by multiple... I mean... probably more than 50 times), and I also read The Hobbit, then The Silmarillion. Next I began reading "The Lost Books" by Tolkien, which consists of I think 6 books that he wrote all about Middle-Earth, and I'm still only on the first one. Anyway, I think Tolkien was a genius. I love his views on Christianity and learning about his friendship with C.S. Lewis (who I also love to read and read about). Anyway, this new book I started reading today is all about how Tolkien clearly centered LOTR around Christianity with all of its symbolism, yet purposefully wrote the story to be without religion and only indirectly points to Christian theology and ideas. It's fascinating. You should read it if you have an interest in Lord of the Rings and/or Tolkien (umm, how could you not...).
---
I hate knowing that I NEED to do something, yet not wanting to do that something at all.
I hate that the way I am makes it such a struggle for me to do certain things that I would consider most people perfectly capable of doing with no struggle at all.
---
I am going to change my major at ISU. I'm going to change it from Journalism & Mass Communication to a major in English with a concentration in Rhetorical Studies, and have a double minor in Psychology and Political Science. Complicated? Of course, it's me. What else would you expect? seriously.
---
Well my movie is over, so I'm going to bed now. Peace out.
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