Be encouraged, friends

True story-

So I was driving back here last night, and some amazing stuff went on during my drive. I started to feel sad and full of sorrow as I thought about how a relationship has hurt and wounded me so much over the past few months. I started saying out loud that I miss the way he used to look at me, I miss his arms around me, I miss everything about him. Then I noticed the music playing in my car, and it was the song “Everything” by Lifehouse. Every time I listen to it, it quiets my spirit and I get into a very worshipful state of heart and mind. I started to cry, soft at first, then harder and harder, until my tears started disrupting my ability to see the road… with the darkness all around me as I continued the drive home on the gravel road. Then all the sudden I felt like everything was lit up, like it was dark out but I could see better and I felt like there was this golden spotlight shining on me in my car shooting directly up to God in the heavens above. I was moved to start speaking to Him, and so out loud I just started talking- it was just me and God, my Father, my Daddy. I felt His presence in my car with me- He was there with me. Just me and Him. We were connected and it was so intimate and it felt like for that moment in time all He cared about was me and my heart. I heard Him say, “I’m so glad you came back to me tonight, child.” I asked Him to take away whatever was inside of me, keeping me from trusting Him fully. I asked Him to rid me of all my fear, all my anger, all my bitterness, all my pain I was holding onto inside my heart. All of my sin and shame was lifted off of me. I cried out to Him that I am so frail. I told him that I know of His great power. I know of His mighty strength. I have seen it and I believe in it, I believe in an Almighty God—and so I asked Him to be my strength that keeps me walking every minute of every day, that keeps me trusting and hoping and loving. I told him I believe everything Shelli told me yesterday- that He loves me so much, that I am born again every day, that I don’t have to clean myself up in order to come to Him. That I am his darling daughter, He adopted me into His family. I told Him that I know I don’t always do the right thing, I know I have been living in sin and listening to Satan’s lies, but I said…I reject Satan’s lies- I reject this burden of sin- of hating myself and trying to hide it. I reject it all, and I told God that I wanted Him to know I accept His love. I accept what He has been offering me this whole time. I accept it. I want it. I told Him I don’t want to try filling up the emptiness in my heart and soul with the love and affections of boys or of anyone else, because nothing satisfies it but Him- my Lord, my Master. I asked Him that I would be able to wake up every day knowing I am fulfilled, knowing He is my true Romancer, my ultimate Lover, my God who is constantly pursuing me and wanting me to love Him back, and that’s all I need- that’s all I want. And so I parked. And I let the song end. And I played it again. Then I got out, came into my room, and thought about what just happened. And tomorrow I know I will wake up fulfilled by the love of Christ, the love of my Father. And the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that…………. <3