misery

I feel like a vegetable. Always needing to just sit or lay down and do nothing. I basically never feel good. I mostly either feel pain, sad, numb, weak, and/or miserable. If I don't feel feverish from my kidney stone infection, then it's my hacking cough that won't ever stop and causes my throat great discomfort. If my cough is suppressed for a little bit, then I get drowsy, dizzy and weak from my pain meds so if I'm walking or out somewhere I'm basically gonna collapse unless someone is with me to walk me back to my room to lie down. Thank the Lord for Nick Brannen. If I'm not having any of those problems, I am nauseous or maybe even feel more kidney stone pain as I pass my stupid stones. I AM COMPLETELY MISERABLE. I am not afraid to say that I am completely depressed right now too. I obviously am not my normal, happy self- OBVIOUSLY, I mean come on... anybody in my shoes would be depressed.

I am afraid to try to go to sleep. Because immediately when I lay down and get comfortable, I get bronchial spasms and hack my brains out and wake up all of Friley probably with how loud my cough is. Once I calm down from that, I am all nauseous and dizzy from all the movement from hacking and sitting up and doing my inhaler. So I know I'm not gonna get any good sleep. ONce again. For the past like 3 nights. Tonight isnt gonna be any different.

Basically, I am a mess. a complete mess. just shoot me now.